I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We are two peas in an std pod
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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