You made me cry and you don't even care
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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