theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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