I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
foreskin is a definite game changer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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