No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
