Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
