Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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