We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
