I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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