where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
