she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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