Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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