Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
