Operation Purity has been aborted
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
