Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he puts the penis in happiness.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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