hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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