thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
