At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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