My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
