found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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