Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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