I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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