his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize