I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
