okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
