im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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