it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
