and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
