so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
