addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
