Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
