is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
