just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
