My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.