he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa