I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
me + whiskey = a bad person
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.