I can text with my tongue
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."