I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
