I think my vagina is haunted
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
