You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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