I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
