so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
