i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm both gender and math confused
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
