Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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