I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
