Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
