what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
