I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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