Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
