Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
