can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
