i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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