Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
