Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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