went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
