help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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