Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
