it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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