SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
